I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
