I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
