So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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