So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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