that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
