I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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