that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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