Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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