Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
