i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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