i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
