Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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