Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize