So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
