took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
