you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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