is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
