Yo dont text me then not text me
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
