Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
