All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
