those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
