Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
