420 ftw
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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