If i come over, it means nothing
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
