dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize