Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize