The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
