i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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