Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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