Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
