your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize