ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
