the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
