Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
