: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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