You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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