Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
