Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
