Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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