he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize