Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
