Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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