a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
