I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
