You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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