He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
