It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
