Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
