I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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