dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
