She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
