I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
