Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
