Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just made out with a guy for $7.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
