i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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