Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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