Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
