What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
