We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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