Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
