Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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